I have 3 younger brothers. Each of my brothers has a unique personality, as well as a couple things they are exceptional at and passionate about. For Michael it has been skiing and motorcycles. He loves to ski, would do it daily, and he is exceptional at it. For Brady, it is video games and knowledge/learning. He is a genius and he has escaped into his head and video games for as long as I can remember. Brandon's passions are baseball and sports. I realize that baseball is a sport; however, baseball is his first passion the other sports come next.
I have always envied my brothers' talents and passion until now. For the first time in my life, I am passionate about something and I feel like I was meant to do something. I feel like I have a calling in life. I know it sounds cliche' and it most likely is, but I know that I was meant to be a mom. I was meant to have this little man and take care of him. I have never been as good at anything as I am at being a mom. I know, I sound conceded or like I think I know everything about motherhood. That couldn't be farther from the truth. I don't know anywhere close to everything, but I have instincts. I have some experience around babies. They have never intimidated me. Being a mom, it just feels right. Taking care of Jayden, just feels like my calling. I've toyed with many other professions, with many other fields. I have never felt like this with anything before. I know I'm good at this and this is the most incredible thing I have ever experienced.
I am tired, my house is a mess, I fall asleep while pumping, but I'm happier than I have ever been. Life as a mom could not be any more rewarding. I have a loving, supportive husband who is also an incredible father and together we make up a little family I never thought I would have. I am blessed beyond measure.
So it has been quite a while since my last post. Lots to update.
On November 29, 2008 at 9:20 am I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Jayden Chandler Hahn weighed 7 lbs 6 oz and was 20-1/2 inches long.
I had my 36-week appointment with the doctor on November 14. When she checked me, I was 2cm dilated and 70% effaced. The next week, I was 3cm dilated and 75% effaced. During this time I had false labor a few times. On November 26, I went into the doctor's office for my 38-week appointment. My usual doctor was out of town for the holiday, so the on-call doctor saw me and stripped my membranes. I was 3-1/2cm dilated and 80% effaced. I didn't know what it meant to have my membranes stripped exactly, I had heard others talk about it, but the only thing I really knew was that it hurt like hell and was supposed to speed up the process. I was okay with the thought of speeding things up, as I was really sick of false labor; however, I didn't want to have him on Thanksgiving day.
Well, Thanksgiving day came and nothing happened. I had contractions, but nothing major. The little guy just liked it in there way too much. My mom planned to come down on the 28th because I stayed in SLC for Thanksgiving. So the night of Thanksgiving, I got maybe 3-4 hours of sleep total. I woke up on the 28th at around 8 because my mother-in-law was calling about a "Black Friday" sale and wanted to know if we wanted to come over for breakfast. Since my mom was coming down that day, and his grandparents were still in town, I just got up and stayed up rather than trying to sleep more that day. I was still convinced nothing was going to happen. We were pretty busy that whole day. My mom, Brandon, Mike, and Jenessa were all over at our house visiting. We watched "A Very Colbert Christmas" together and it was hilarious. After it finished, I was writing something down and my fingers hurt so badly I could barely write and bend them. I decided that I needed to check my blood pressure. I had the equipment to do so at my house, and both Mike and I knew how to do it. So, Mike and I went into the kitchen and proceeded to check my blood pressure. It was 160/101. We checked it 3 times to be sure. I immediately called the on-call doctor. Dr. Brown called me back within minutes. It was around 8 or 9pm at this time. She told me to head into the hospital right away and that they were going to run tests and probably induce me. That is essentially what happened.
We got into the hospital, they ran tests. By the time we got to the hosptial my blood pressure had dropped down to 149/93. Still high, but not bad or so I thought. I was on fluids, we were in limbo waiting for blood tests to come back and waiting to find out whether or not I was going to get induced. Since my pressure had dropped, BJ and I thought I was going to get sent home. We were wrong. They decided to admit me and induce me. Because of the blood pressure issues, I wasn't allowed to labor in the ways that I had planned. I had to stay in the bed the whole time rather than being able to move around or labor in the tub to help me go natural. I was still okay with this though. I mentally prepared myself. They started me on Pitocin, on a low dose at my request to allow me to progress naturally. Around 2am, Dr. Brown came in and explained to me that they wanted to break my water and gave me the reasons why. I agreed and my water broke. This is when labor began. I forgot to mention that when I got in to the hospital, I was dilated to a 4 and 90% effaced. Beej called the doula I hired and the process began.
I was still planning on going natural at this point. The doula arrived and I think we forgot to mention to her what changes took place and why we were in the position we were in. Anyway, with the help and support of my wonderful husband, mother, mother-in-law, nurse (DeeDee from 11pm-7am) and doula, I made it to an 8cm dilation before I got an epidural. I was so exhausted at this point. I had been awake since 8am the previous day and not been able to take a nap. The contractions were intense and one on top of the other. I couldn't get a break and what I thought I was going to experience with my doula, I wasn't experiencing. I just couldn't do it anymore and I caved. When I initially said "ok I can't do it anymore" the anesthesiologist was about to do a c-section; however, he was going to run in and give me the epidural first. (My mom, mother-in-law, and nurse wanted me to get the epidural about 2 hours before I actually did). Unfortunately, the c-section became an emergency one and I had to wait for that to finish before I could get my epidural, which was another hour. After the anesthesiologist administered the epidural, which was a low dose one that I could control, I was able to take a nap for 30-min until they put in the catheter. I was still able to move my legs and I could still feel the pressure, but the edge had been taken off the sharp intense pain of the contractions. I think I got the epidural around 6am because the last thing my nurse DeeDee got to do was put in the catheter, then her shift was over. Lori was my next nurse and she too was phenomenal. Shortly after Lori came on, I got to start pushing. She had me start pushing at 8am, but had me stop for like 30 min for some reason. Then I started pushing again and he was almost out when I had to stop pushing again so Dr. Brown could deliver another baby lol. However, after only an hour of real pushing, Jayden Chandler was born at 9:20am on November 29.
It was an incredible experience. While I didn't want the epidural, now that I know how this hospital does it, I would do it again. Immediately after he was born and I was getting transferred up to maternity, I was able to walk myself into my wheelchair and from the wheelchair into the new bed. I had such a low dose epidural that I still retained all of my function and control, which I was worried about. Plus, without it, I don't think I would have had the energy to push him out. The nurses at Intermountain Medical Center were phenomenal. DeeDee and Lori were a godsend to me. My family was amazing as well. Aside from the preeclampsia, I wouldn't change a thing about the entire event.
A tired me with my beautiful baby boy!!
Jayden Chandler caught smiling at 1-week.
I have to get the pics from that day from my in-laws and my mom... I was a bit busy to be taking pics lol
More to come later!
On November 29, 2008 at 9:20 am I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Jayden Chandler Hahn weighed 7 lbs 6 oz and was 20-1/2 inches long.
I had my 36-week appointment with the doctor on November 14. When she checked me, I was 2cm dilated and 70% effaced. The next week, I was 3cm dilated and 75% effaced. During this time I had false labor a few times. On November 26, I went into the doctor's office for my 38-week appointment. My usual doctor was out of town for the holiday, so the on-call doctor saw me and stripped my membranes. I was 3-1/2cm dilated and 80% effaced. I didn't know what it meant to have my membranes stripped exactly, I had heard others talk about it, but the only thing I really knew was that it hurt like hell and was supposed to speed up the process. I was okay with the thought of speeding things up, as I was really sick of false labor; however, I didn't want to have him on Thanksgiving day.
Well, Thanksgiving day came and nothing happened. I had contractions, but nothing major. The little guy just liked it in there way too much. My mom planned to come down on the 28th because I stayed in SLC for Thanksgiving. So the night of Thanksgiving, I got maybe 3-4 hours of sleep total. I woke up on the 28th at around 8 because my mother-in-law was calling about a "Black Friday" sale and wanted to know if we wanted to come over for breakfast. Since my mom was coming down that day, and his grandparents were still in town, I just got up and stayed up rather than trying to sleep more that day. I was still convinced nothing was going to happen. We were pretty busy that whole day. My mom, Brandon, Mike, and Jenessa were all over at our house visiting. We watched "A Very Colbert Christmas" together and it was hilarious. After it finished, I was writing something down and my fingers hurt so badly I could barely write and bend them. I decided that I needed to check my blood pressure. I had the equipment to do so at my house, and both Mike and I knew how to do it. So, Mike and I went into the kitchen and proceeded to check my blood pressure. It was 160/101. We checked it 3 times to be sure. I immediately called the on-call doctor. Dr. Brown called me back within minutes. It was around 8 or 9pm at this time. She told me to head into the hospital right away and that they were going to run tests and probably induce me. That is essentially what happened.
We got into the hospital, they ran tests. By the time we got to the hosptial my blood pressure had dropped down to 149/93. Still high, but not bad or so I thought. I was on fluids, we were in limbo waiting for blood tests to come back and waiting to find out whether or not I was going to get induced. Since my pressure had dropped, BJ and I thought I was going to get sent home. We were wrong. They decided to admit me and induce me. Because of the blood pressure issues, I wasn't allowed to labor in the ways that I had planned. I had to stay in the bed the whole time rather than being able to move around or labor in the tub to help me go natural. I was still okay with this though. I mentally prepared myself. They started me on Pitocin, on a low dose at my request to allow me to progress naturally. Around 2am, Dr. Brown came in and explained to me that they wanted to break my water and gave me the reasons why. I agreed and my water broke. This is when labor began. I forgot to mention that when I got in to the hospital, I was dilated to a 4 and 90% effaced. Beej called the doula I hired and the process began.
I was still planning on going natural at this point. The doula arrived and I think we forgot to mention to her what changes took place and why we were in the position we were in. Anyway, with the help and support of my wonderful husband, mother, mother-in-law, nurse (DeeDee from 11pm-7am) and doula, I made it to an 8cm dilation before I got an epidural. I was so exhausted at this point. I had been awake since 8am the previous day and not been able to take a nap. The contractions were intense and one on top of the other. I couldn't get a break and what I thought I was going to experience with my doula, I wasn't experiencing. I just couldn't do it anymore and I caved. When I initially said "ok I can't do it anymore" the anesthesiologist was about to do a c-section; however, he was going to run in and give me the epidural first. (My mom, mother-in-law, and nurse wanted me to get the epidural about 2 hours before I actually did). Unfortunately, the c-section became an emergency one and I had to wait for that to finish before I could get my epidural, which was another hour. After the anesthesiologist administered the epidural, which was a low dose one that I could control, I was able to take a nap for 30-min until they put in the catheter. I was still able to move my legs and I could still feel the pressure, but the edge had been taken off the sharp intense pain of the contractions. I think I got the epidural around 6am because the last thing my nurse DeeDee got to do was put in the catheter, then her shift was over. Lori was my next nurse and she too was phenomenal. Shortly after Lori came on, I got to start pushing. She had me start pushing at 8am, but had me stop for like 30 min for some reason. Then I started pushing again and he was almost out when I had to stop pushing again so Dr. Brown could deliver another baby lol. However, after only an hour of real pushing, Jayden Chandler was born at 9:20am on November 29.
It was an incredible experience. While I didn't want the epidural, now that I know how this hospital does it, I would do it again. Immediately after he was born and I was getting transferred up to maternity, I was able to walk myself into my wheelchair and from the wheelchair into the new bed. I had such a low dose epidural that I still retained all of my function and control, which I was worried about. Plus, without it, I don't think I would have had the energy to push him out. The nurses at Intermountain Medical Center were phenomenal. DeeDee and Lori were a godsend to me. My family was amazing as well. Aside from the preeclampsia, I wouldn't change a thing about the entire event.
A tired me with my beautiful baby boy!!
Jayden Chandler caught smiling at 1-week.I have to get the pics from that day from my in-laws and my mom... I was a bit busy to be taking pics lol
More to come later!
I had another doctors appointment today. As usual, things are going great. Weight gain is good, I think I gained like 2 pounds since my last appointment, blood pressure is good, everything is good with my pregnancy. Now I'm just working on my son to convince him that the week of Thanksgiving is the best time to come out and play! lol
Thursday, 10/23/08, my Uncle Val was taken in an ambulance from Logan to the University of Utah hospital because he was coughing up blood. My uncle has cystic fibrosis, he is one of the oldest living people in the world with this condition, he is 53 (I think). The oldest on record lived to about 70. The average life span is around 16 years I believe. Anyway, he is now in the hospital again. This in and of itself is nothing new. He is always in the hospital to get "cleaned out" and get anti-biotics and such. After being admitted, the doctors told him that he would be in the hospital for months this time. They ran a bunch of tests and finally allowed him to be put on the lung transplant list. We are all hoping and praying that he gets a lung soon and that the transplant goes well.
I know many of my friends are religious, my family is having a fast/prayer this weekend. If nothing else, when you go to the temple or say your prayers at night, please include him in them if you can.
So, Friday 10/24/08, my Gram was admitted to the hospital. She fell a bunch of times, got a concussion, broke a rib... She isnt' doing well. They released her today, but they say that she is going to need constant care from now on. I can't imagine them putting her in a home. It is so sad. She has always been such a strong and independent woman. To see her now at this point breaks my heart. I am heading to Logan tonight to spend time with her. I feel that I need to spend as much time with her as possible before the Gram I have known for 26-years totally slips away.
Last, we recently discovered that there was a 5-day lapse in insurance coverage. My COBRA ended 5/31/08, I got married 6/6/08, so from 6/1 - 6/5, I had no insurance. Unfortunately for me, they just so happened to run a bunch of tests on 6/2. I thought I was covered through the 5th. I thought I had insurance. Now that I'm learning I didn't, I have over 1000.00 in medical bills for ONE DAY!!!!!! One simple day of prenatal tests. Fabulous.
Today is not my favorite day ever.
Thursday, 10/23/08, my Uncle Val was taken in an ambulance from Logan to the University of Utah hospital because he was coughing up blood. My uncle has cystic fibrosis, he is one of the oldest living people in the world with this condition, he is 53 (I think). The oldest on record lived to about 70. The average life span is around 16 years I believe. Anyway, he is now in the hospital again. This in and of itself is nothing new. He is always in the hospital to get "cleaned out" and get anti-biotics and such. After being admitted, the doctors told him that he would be in the hospital for months this time. They ran a bunch of tests and finally allowed him to be put on the lung transplant list. We are all hoping and praying that he gets a lung soon and that the transplant goes well.
I know many of my friends are religious, my family is having a fast/prayer this weekend. If nothing else, when you go to the temple or say your prayers at night, please include him in them if you can.
So, Friday 10/24/08, my Gram was admitted to the hospital. She fell a bunch of times, got a concussion, broke a rib... She isnt' doing well. They released her today, but they say that she is going to need constant care from now on. I can't imagine them putting her in a home. It is so sad. She has always been such a strong and independent woman. To see her now at this point breaks my heart. I am heading to Logan tonight to spend time with her. I feel that I need to spend as much time with her as possible before the Gram I have known for 26-years totally slips away.
Last, we recently discovered that there was a 5-day lapse in insurance coverage. My COBRA ended 5/31/08, I got married 6/6/08, so from 6/1 - 6/5, I had no insurance. Unfortunately for me, they just so happened to run a bunch of tests on 6/2. I thought I was covered through the 5th. I thought I had insurance. Now that I'm learning I didn't, I have over 1000.00 in medical bills for ONE DAY!!!!!! One simple day of prenatal tests. Fabulous.
Today is not my favorite day ever.
So I went to the doctor today for my 33-week appointment. I'm doing great. Jayden is also doing great. I've gained 25-pounds so far... She told me that I could expect to gain about 30-35 for my pregnancy! Yay! They made me get a flu shot. And they scared the crap out of me by saying "well, your baby is due during RSV season!" Oh thanks! Not that I'm not scared to death already lol. Anyway, point here is that I got my flu shot. My arm hurts and I am getting that fabulous flu shot fever! Yay! But, my son will hopefully be protected and not get RSV.
BJ and I have been watching childbirth education videos, learning a lot. We have decided that I am going to try to have Jayden naturally, without an epidural. I am not totally ruling out an epidural; however, I truly don't want one if I can handle it. It's just that we learned that it gives the baby the best chance of bonding with the mother, as well as latching on, as I will be able to try to feed him right away. Like I said, I'm not ruling out an epidural at all, but I really don't want to get one if I don't have to. I was the only baby of my mothers that had an epidural and refused to breast feed. So, we'll see how it goes!
Some of you may know that we were toying with the idea of requesting an induction around Thanksgiving, to make it easier on us with time off and stuff... Well, after some consideration and research we have decided that we are not going to go for the induction. I want to avoid a c-section and an epidural, as I have already mentioned. One of the common reasons for a c-section is a failed induction. Also, when you are induced, they give you Pitocin, which requires that they also give you an epidural as Pitocin increases the intensity of the contractions a LOT. They sometimes have to give you the epidural earlier when using Pitocin than they would have otherwise, which can slow down and in some cases actually stop labor - leading to a c-section. It's funny how parents often have their own ideas of how things are going to go, they get it all planned out and stuff, and if my son has another agenda, all our plans could go out the window! We shall see! The closer it gets, the more excited I get. I can't believe that in only a few short weeks, I am going to be a mommy!
Here are some pics of his nursery and stuff.
Jayden's Crib - His daddy worked hard on it!
I made the "Jayden" out of wooden chalkboards I bought at Robert's arts and crafts. I painted the frames red and added the painted wooden cut-outs to the frames. I was really happy with the way it turned out!
And now for some belly pics! I feel huge!!!
BJ and I have been watching childbirth education videos, learning a lot. We have decided that I am going to try to have Jayden naturally, without an epidural. I am not totally ruling out an epidural; however, I truly don't want one if I can handle it. It's just that we learned that it gives the baby the best chance of bonding with the mother, as well as latching on, as I will be able to try to feed him right away. Like I said, I'm not ruling out an epidural at all, but I really don't want to get one if I don't have to. I was the only baby of my mothers that had an epidural and refused to breast feed. So, we'll see how it goes!
Some of you may know that we were toying with the idea of requesting an induction around Thanksgiving, to make it easier on us with time off and stuff... Well, after some consideration and research we have decided that we are not going to go for the induction. I want to avoid a c-section and an epidural, as I have already mentioned. One of the common reasons for a c-section is a failed induction. Also, when you are induced, they give you Pitocin, which requires that they also give you an epidural as Pitocin increases the intensity of the contractions a LOT. They sometimes have to give you the epidural earlier when using Pitocin than they would have otherwise, which can slow down and in some cases actually stop labor - leading to a c-section. It's funny how parents often have their own ideas of how things are going to go, they get it all planned out and stuff, and if my son has another agenda, all our plans could go out the window! We shall see! The closer it gets, the more excited I get. I can't believe that in only a few short weeks, I am going to be a mommy!
Here are some pics of his nursery and stuff.
Jayden's Crib - His daddy worked hard on it!
I made the "Jayden" out of wooden chalkboards I bought at Robert's arts and crafts. I painted the frames red and added the painted wooden cut-outs to the frames. I was really happy with the way it turned out!
And now for some belly pics! I feel huge!!!
So I just finished watching the debate. Obama, as expected, did a phenomenal job. He gave precise answers and details regarding his policies, as well as visions for our country's future.
I wanted to see what Fox News had for a poll - I do that sometimes, even though I know that FOX noise is usually a bunch of crap... Anyway, so I go to the site, see a poll and vote for Obama. I get an error message the popped up on my screen! I call BJ over, show him. We both have a good laugh. Beej then says, "You should try voting for McCain instead and see what happens!" so I did. Surprise, surprise!!! It worked!!!!!
Oh how I wish I had taken screen shots!
I wanted to see what Fox News had for a poll - I do that sometimes, even though I know that FOX noise is usually a bunch of crap... Anyway, so I go to the site, see a poll and vote for Obama. I get an error message the popped up on my screen! I call BJ over, show him. We both have a good laugh. Beej then says, "You should try voting for McCain instead and see what happens!" so I did. Surprise, surprise!!! It worked!!!!!
Oh how I wish I had taken screen shots!
So my post on dads in the delivery room has been successful enough in the voting category or input rather, that I am going to try it again. And, by the way, thank you for your comments about dads in the delivery room. It has led me to believe that the research my husband found was the minority not the majority, and he truly does have a place in the delivery room... Not that I would have let him get out of being in there, had he even wanted to, in the first place. He knew his attendance was mandatory :)
Note: This turned out to be a much longer and more in-depth post than I originally intended. If you don't want to have to read all of my ramblings, you can scroll to the bottom where I finally ask the question lol.
Ok, so holidays. The beauty and complication of the holidays. I have a complicated family, which is even more complicated by the fact that they live 2-hours away. My holidays were always busy even when I was single. I have my mom, my dad & step-mom, and lots of extended family. There are always 2 Thanksgiving dinners, at least. There are always at least 2 Christmas dinners as well. The holidays are spent running all over Logan. It is chaotic, but it is my family. I love them all, and I want to spend as much time with them as I can. Since meeting my husband, 4-years ago, we have added into this crazy mix, his family. They are far more simple than mine; however, they live in SLC with their extended family up in Idaho Falls. The only thing that complicates his family is that they aren't used to having to share (Beej and his ex-wife spent all holidays with his family because hers lived in Arkansas). They have done well with sharing for the most part, but at first it was tough and they are still getting used to it.
Thanksgiving has been the simple holiday. We alternate. First year, we spent it with his family in Idaho Falls, then mine, then his, and this year again with his because I will be so close to my due date I don't want to drive up to Logan and be far away from my hospital. Thanksgiving though has never really been a problem. Christmas, on the other hand, is a whole different story.
My dad's birthday is Christmas Eve. (I know, poor guy) My mother-in-law's birthday is the day after Christmas. My step-mother's family usually has a big Christmas party on Christmas Eve. My in-laws have a big Christmas Eve dinner tradition with nothing other than presents on Christmas Day. My mom has a Christmas Eve PJ's tradition. Ok, so since my dad usually goes to the Christmas Eve party with his wife, I have spent Christmas Eve with my husband's family every year since we met. My mom would like to see us on Christmas Eve, which I don't blame her, I'd like to see her too! My dad doesn't care. He's easy in all of this. So, since this is getting all confusing, let me try to simplify. For the last 3 years, I have spent Christmas Eve with BJ's family. Christmas morning we get up, open presents with his family, eat breakfast, pack up my Jimmy, and drive to Logan. Where we run around like chickens with our heads cut off all day long. The first year I was with BJ, we drove back to SLC on Christmas Day so we spent the next day with his mom on her birthday. Since then, I have said NAY to that. If we are missing my dad's birthday to spend it with his mom, we're missing his mom's birthday to spend it with my dad. I gave them slack on the first year because they weren't used to having to share. However, since then, I have decided that they just need to learn and we would help them do that. So after that first year, we drive back to SLC the day after Christmas.
Before I got pregnant, we were going to start a new Christmas schedule. We were going to alternate years on Christmas Eve. So, all of that which I explained above on opposite years. That way, every other year we'd actually spend the birthday with the parent whose birthday it actually is. And my family would get to see me on Christmas morning for the first time in 3-years. (My brothers really love their sister!!!!! They have been giving me crap about this for a LONG time now!) This new plan was because my husband said "I'm not going to make you go a year without seeing your family over Christmas, and I know you wouldn't want to do that to me either." He's close in his assumption, but not quite. See, I'm used to alternating years with my grandparents. He is not, his is a long and somewhat complicated family story, which I will summarize with - He only spent time with his paternal grandparents and paternal extended family on ALL holidays up until a few years ago. My extended family all lived in Logan and we'd just alternate Christmas dinners between them, this continued for the most part even after my parents divorced. So I am totally used to not seeing one side or the other on Christmas every other year. To me, that is normal. You alternate. If one family gets you for Thanksgiving, the other gets you for Christmas. And when your siblings all get married, which mine are years away from doing, you try to coordinate so your families are all together at the same time.
This year is complicated and I don't know what to do. I will have a newborn. I will have a cute, sweet, tiny little baby - who just so happens to be EVERYONE'S first grandchild. I have a new house, a new baby, and I've created my own little family. He's going to be so new that everyone is going to want to spend time with him on Christmas. He's going to be so new that I am just going to want to relax. I don't know what to do. See, in my opinion, NOW is the time to put feet down and alternate completely. We spend ALL of Christmas with one family or the other. And since Thanksgiving will be spent with the Hahn family this year, I feel that Christmas should be spent in Logan. I know that is going to be insanely hard on my in-laws. This is their first little grandbaby, they want to spend time with him and spoil him on Christmas (even though he's just going to be a cute, sleeping, little lump on Christmas). My family also wants to spend time with him. I don't want to do it like we have done in the past. Last year, the roads were sooooo bad and icy that we watched about 8 cars get in a wreck in front of us, and just barely missed being involved ourselves. I don't want to go through that with my newborn. I've joked that everyone just needs to come to us this year, but I know that wont happen. My dad and Lisa wont come down here for Christmas. Which is fine, they don't have to... and I'm sure my mom would, but I don't know about my brothers.... and it just isn't Christmas without my brothers! I love my brothers. They are my best little friends. They are my family. They have to be there. Ugh... so frustratingly complicated :(
This has been a very long, rambling post. Mostly I need to try to sort my thoughts and come up with a solution because I have lots of family members asking me what our plans are - Yes, I realize it is only October lol.
Here is where I need input:
What does your family do at Christmas time? How do you split your holidays? Last, do you have any advice for me? lol
Thank you! I need all the help I can get right now!
Note: This turned out to be a much longer and more in-depth post than I originally intended. If you don't want to have to read all of my ramblings, you can scroll to the bottom where I finally ask the question lol.
Ok, so holidays. The beauty and complication of the holidays. I have a complicated family, which is even more complicated by the fact that they live 2-hours away. My holidays were always busy even when I was single. I have my mom, my dad & step-mom, and lots of extended family. There are always 2 Thanksgiving dinners, at least. There are always at least 2 Christmas dinners as well. The holidays are spent running all over Logan. It is chaotic, but it is my family. I love them all, and I want to spend as much time with them as I can. Since meeting my husband, 4-years ago, we have added into this crazy mix, his family. They are far more simple than mine; however, they live in SLC with their extended family up in Idaho Falls. The only thing that complicates his family is that they aren't used to having to share (Beej and his ex-wife spent all holidays with his family because hers lived in Arkansas). They have done well with sharing for the most part, but at first it was tough and they are still getting used to it.
Thanksgiving has been the simple holiday. We alternate. First year, we spent it with his family in Idaho Falls, then mine, then his, and this year again with his because I will be so close to my due date I don't want to drive up to Logan and be far away from my hospital. Thanksgiving though has never really been a problem. Christmas, on the other hand, is a whole different story.
My dad's birthday is Christmas Eve. (I know, poor guy) My mother-in-law's birthday is the day after Christmas. My step-mother's family usually has a big Christmas party on Christmas Eve. My in-laws have a big Christmas Eve dinner tradition with nothing other than presents on Christmas Day. My mom has a Christmas Eve PJ's tradition. Ok, so since my dad usually goes to the Christmas Eve party with his wife, I have spent Christmas Eve with my husband's family every year since we met. My mom would like to see us on Christmas Eve, which I don't blame her, I'd like to see her too! My dad doesn't care. He's easy in all of this. So, since this is getting all confusing, let me try to simplify. For the last 3 years, I have spent Christmas Eve with BJ's family. Christmas morning we get up, open presents with his family, eat breakfast, pack up my Jimmy, and drive to Logan. Where we run around like chickens with our heads cut off all day long. The first year I was with BJ, we drove back to SLC on Christmas Day so we spent the next day with his mom on her birthday. Since then, I have said NAY to that. If we are missing my dad's birthday to spend it with his mom, we're missing his mom's birthday to spend it with my dad. I gave them slack on the first year because they weren't used to having to share. However, since then, I have decided that they just need to learn and we would help them do that. So after that first year, we drive back to SLC the day after Christmas.
Before I got pregnant, we were going to start a new Christmas schedule. We were going to alternate years on Christmas Eve. So, all of that which I explained above on opposite years. That way, every other year we'd actually spend the birthday with the parent whose birthday it actually is. And my family would get to see me on Christmas morning for the first time in 3-years. (My brothers really love their sister!!!!! They have been giving me crap about this for a LONG time now!) This new plan was because my husband said "I'm not going to make you go a year without seeing your family over Christmas, and I know you wouldn't want to do that to me either." He's close in his assumption, but not quite. See, I'm used to alternating years with my grandparents. He is not, his is a long and somewhat complicated family story, which I will summarize with - He only spent time with his paternal grandparents and paternal extended family on ALL holidays up until a few years ago. My extended family all lived in Logan and we'd just alternate Christmas dinners between them, this continued for the most part even after my parents divorced. So I am totally used to not seeing one side or the other on Christmas every other year. To me, that is normal. You alternate. If one family gets you for Thanksgiving, the other gets you for Christmas. And when your siblings all get married, which mine are years away from doing, you try to coordinate so your families are all together at the same time.
This year is complicated and I don't know what to do. I will have a newborn. I will have a cute, sweet, tiny little baby - who just so happens to be EVERYONE'S first grandchild. I have a new house, a new baby, and I've created my own little family. He's going to be so new that everyone is going to want to spend time with him on Christmas. He's going to be so new that I am just going to want to relax. I don't know what to do. See, in my opinion, NOW is the time to put feet down and alternate completely. We spend ALL of Christmas with one family or the other. And since Thanksgiving will be spent with the Hahn family this year, I feel that Christmas should be spent in Logan. I know that is going to be insanely hard on my in-laws. This is their first little grandbaby, they want to spend time with him and spoil him on Christmas (even though he's just going to be a cute, sleeping, little lump on Christmas). My family also wants to spend time with him. I don't want to do it like we have done in the past. Last year, the roads were sooooo bad and icy that we watched about 8 cars get in a wreck in front of us, and just barely missed being involved ourselves. I don't want to go through that with my newborn. I've joked that everyone just needs to come to us this year, but I know that wont happen. My dad and Lisa wont come down here for Christmas. Which is fine, they don't have to... and I'm sure my mom would, but I don't know about my brothers.... and it just isn't Christmas without my brothers! I love my brothers. They are my best little friends. They are my family. They have to be there. Ugh... so frustratingly complicated :(
This has been a very long, rambling post. Mostly I need to try to sort my thoughts and come up with a solution because I have lots of family members asking me what our plans are - Yes, I realize it is only October lol.
Here is where I need input:
What does your family do at Christmas time? How do you split your holidays? Last, do you have any advice for me? lol
Thank you! I need all the help I can get right now!
I find this clip funny. McCain really doesn't even bother hiding the fact that he doesn't like Obama anymore does he!
So, my husband is nervous for the upcoming delivery of our first child. He went online today and did some searching via Google. Nearly everything he found was regarding women NOT wanting their men in there with them. This boggles my mind! As I told him, he is the MOST important person to be in there with me... According to the stuff he has found, women feel like the men are "useless" and so they just don't want them in there.
Which brings me to the point of this post. I want to take a vote. How many of you think that your husband should be in there with you during delivery and had your husbands in there with you during delivery? What are your feelings on the topic? And if any of you didn't want him in there, can you explain to me why that is?
Thanks!
LoveQ
I got tagged by Stacie...
ABC's "getting to know you"
TAG ABC's of you. Each player then tags 3 people and posts their names, then go to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
A- Attached or single: Attached
B- Best Friend: BJ, and my mommy!
C-Cake or Pie: Gonna go for cake.
D-Day: can't think of one. maybe saturday or anyday I get to just relax with my husband and be lazy..
E- Essential Item: My computer
F- Favorite Color: pink
G-Gummi Bears or
H-Home town: Logan
I- Indulgences: Hmm, my latest craving is french fries - I still crave pineapple and strawberries as well...
J- January or July?: January, I'm a winter girl
K-Kids: One cooking in the oven right now... He's due in 2 months though! OMG!!!
L-Life is incomplete without: Family
M- Marriage Date: June 6, 2008
N- Number of Siblings: 3 brothers and 1 sister
O- Oranges or Apples: oranges
P- Phobias or Fears: Snakes and large groups of people - like people claustrophobia
Q- Quote: Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it.
R- Reason To Smile: When my son stretches out inside me or kicks anytime I hold another baby. He's pretty protective of my tummy... Even if Beej lays his head on my tummy, you can be sure that Jayden will kick his daddy in the face, a LOT! lol
S- Season: Summer and Fall
T- Tag Three: oh man... I don't even know 3 other bloggers... and one I know sent this to me! Cruel Stacie, cruel! lol ... Ok 1) Beej, via blog - the others are gonna have to go via email! 2) Mommy, 3)Stacy
U- Unknown fact about me: i have never seen star wars, the princess bride, any indiana jones movie, the monty python things... and many other "classics" that I'm supposed to have seen.
V- Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animal: I am not supposed to eat a lot of meat. And I don't like a lot of meat... but I do eat burgers and steaks... and I love salmon, tuna, and shrimp... so I guess I'm an opressor of animals! lol
W- Worst Habit: Leaving lights on and cabinets wide open... I have a very short attention span! lol
X-Rays or Ultrasounds: Ultrasounds
Y-Your favorite food: Salad, Pineapple, Strawberries... and a few other things - I don't have single favorite anythings!
Z: Zodiac Sign: Pisces
This is so sad. When I was a kid, this episode aired. It is a real Duck Tales episode and I needed to share this with the grown ups. Too bad I can't send this video to everyone in the house and senate eh? lol
Dedicated to my husband, who has found a new meme he loves. The omm nom nom kitty has been found.
If you know me, you know that I generally HATE Fox News. I seem to think most of the time they don't rely on facts and they are insane.... Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity are the worst... However, today I came across this video and I am amazed... Jaw is currently dropped. This was on his radio show. Listen to this. Holy Shit. That is all.
I'm going all political for a moment because I am frustrated. I am overly frustrated by a million things going on today in this country and I can't take it.
First of all, this bailout. Why? Why do we have to go through with it? I realize that it could put our country into a recession, but we've been in a recession. Right now there is such an imbalance between the "haves" in power and the "have-nots" who aren't, that this country is crumbling. Last night the President gave a speech blaming a giant majority of the problems we face on the housing market and loans given to "those who couldn't afford them." That is true, there were loans given to those who couldn't afford them, done by predatory lenders in many aspects. However, homes were overpriced, and rent was right up there with the cost of a mortgage. I've heard attack after attack about stupid borrowers who got in over their heads and shouldn't have even thought of owning a home. Yet these same people fail to mention that salaries haven't risen with the housing market - which was totally overinflated - and as someone who rented until 2 months ago, I can tell you that when you are paying $1000 a month (which was a damn good deal I might add) in rent it is pretty freakin difficult to then put away another 1000-2000 a month to save up for 20% down on a house. Especially when the prices of homes and rent for that matter were rising so much more quickly than the average person's salary.
When I got pregnant, we loooked into renting a house, as we needed more space for our son. The condo that we rented up until August was 1100 square feet or so, had two bedrooms and two bathrooms, was on the 4th floor, and had NO storage at all. We knew that there was a mortgage fallout and that well-qualified buyers were having a difficult time securing a mortgage, so we weren't sure that it was even possible for us. Thus, I began looking into renting a house for our growing family. The rent for a house equivalent to that which we now own was 1700-1800 a month. More expensive than our current mortgage. How the hell does someone save up for a downpayment of 20-30% and pay for that on a reasonable and utterly middle-class salary of around 50-60k per year??? Not to mention the other factors like rising fuel prices, food prices, the basic inflation of everything with the total devaluation of our dollar. Inflation has risen over 5% the last two years in a row, the "cost-of-living" raise most people receive is around 3%. Fuel prices? Risen over 30% in the last year, food prices are up 7% - all of that ON TOP of inflation.
Our country's middle class is hurting. Yet we are about to let our representatives bail out wallstreet to the tune of 700 Billion dollars. Oh and while we were concerned about that 700 Billion dollars of added debt we are leaving our children... good 'ol congress passed a whopping 25 Billion dollars in "assistance" to Ford and GM. Are you freaking kidding me? So now I am paying for those car manufacturers to develop more efficient and economically friendly vehicles... do you think that they are going to make those damn cars affordable? Probably not. It is absolutely rediculous. It makes me sick. It makes me ashamed of my country. It makes me ashamed of my economy. It breaks my heart for my son, as we are leaving him with this burden. It breaks my heart for my grandchildren, who will be left to clean up this mess of the last 8-years. We pay 10Billion a month for a war we shouldn't be engaged in. It was a warrantless war and we need out. The only thing I can do about this is vote right? Wrong. I can't even do that. I live in a state where party affiliation trumps individual thinking and the majority of the people here are going to blindly vote for McCain. Why? Oh he's a freaking republican. Bush is a republican. Do you think we are in a better place now than we were 8-years ago? NO. Now, if a republican like Ron Paul was running who is a real republican and not some rediculous neo-conservative, I would be happy to live in a state where people just blindly vote for any retard with an elephant next to their name. However, my republican option is McCain. John McCain. OMG. Heaven help us all. So now when I go vote I will be doing so knowing that it is a waste of my time and the paper on which I punch out Obama's name.
For my son, this occupation needs to end. It's not a war. It is an occupation, and guess what, YOU CAN'T WIN AN OCCUPATION!!!!! I have been following this war since it began. I was one of those news junkies who was up and watching when we bombed Iraq for the very first time. It was breaking news on CNN, and I was sick over it. I have been against this since the beginning. I have been against our retarded President. I am sick over the state of our country. I am sick knowing that this is the legacy I am leaving my son. And if you can't tell, I'm just rambling, venting, and generally going off because I am so frustrated!!!!!
I am blessed to be in a home. I am blessed that we found a lender who was willing to give us a chance. I am blessed that we were able to get an FHA loan and that when we got our loan we were still able to receive "gifted" money, as we had to come up with 3% of our loan. I am able to give my son a safe and stable place to live right now. I can't control the rest of the country, I can only hope that people start to see the light and my generation starts to vote and participate in our political system. Right now, the decisions that are being made while we aren't paying attention are going to be effecting us for the rest of our lives and our ignorance is going to burden our children and our children's children.
And for anyone still reading and curious. This is one of those chain emails I got, but it helped put things into perspective. Consider the following. We are going to potentially give wallstreet 700Billion, we gave Ford and GM 25Billion, and Iraq costs us 10Billion a month. Our current national debt is over 12TRILLION. The following email is "What is a billion"
First of all, this bailout. Why? Why do we have to go through with it? I realize that it could put our country into a recession, but we've been in a recession. Right now there is such an imbalance between the "haves" in power and the "have-nots" who aren't, that this country is crumbling. Last night the President gave a speech blaming a giant majority of the problems we face on the housing market and loans given to "those who couldn't afford them." That is true, there were loans given to those who couldn't afford them, done by predatory lenders in many aspects. However, homes were overpriced, and rent was right up there with the cost of a mortgage. I've heard attack after attack about stupid borrowers who got in over their heads and shouldn't have even thought of owning a home. Yet these same people fail to mention that salaries haven't risen with the housing market - which was totally overinflated - and as someone who rented until 2 months ago, I can tell you that when you are paying $1000 a month (which was a damn good deal I might add) in rent it is pretty freakin difficult to then put away another 1000-2000 a month to save up for 20% down on a house. Especially when the prices of homes and rent for that matter were rising so much more quickly than the average person's salary.
When I got pregnant, we loooked into renting a house, as we needed more space for our son. The condo that we rented up until August was 1100 square feet or so, had two bedrooms and two bathrooms, was on the 4th floor, and had NO storage at all. We knew that there was a mortgage fallout and that well-qualified buyers were having a difficult time securing a mortgage, so we weren't sure that it was even possible for us. Thus, I began looking into renting a house for our growing family. The rent for a house equivalent to that which we now own was 1700-1800 a month. More expensive than our current mortgage. How the hell does someone save up for a downpayment of 20-30% and pay for that on a reasonable and utterly middle-class salary of around 50-60k per year??? Not to mention the other factors like rising fuel prices, food prices, the basic inflation of everything with the total devaluation of our dollar. Inflation has risen over 5% the last two years in a row, the "cost-of-living" raise most people receive is around 3%. Fuel prices? Risen over 30% in the last year, food prices are up 7% - all of that ON TOP of inflation.
Our country's middle class is hurting. Yet we are about to let our representatives bail out wallstreet to the tune of 700 Billion dollars. Oh and while we were concerned about that 700 Billion dollars of added debt we are leaving our children... good 'ol congress passed a whopping 25 Billion dollars in "assistance" to Ford and GM. Are you freaking kidding me? So now I am paying for those car manufacturers to develop more efficient and economically friendly vehicles... do you think that they are going to make those damn cars affordable? Probably not. It is absolutely rediculous. It makes me sick. It makes me ashamed of my country. It makes me ashamed of my economy. It breaks my heart for my son, as we are leaving him with this burden. It breaks my heart for my grandchildren, who will be left to clean up this mess of the last 8-years. We pay 10Billion a month for a war we shouldn't be engaged in. It was a warrantless war and we need out. The only thing I can do about this is vote right? Wrong. I can't even do that. I live in a state where party affiliation trumps individual thinking and the majority of the people here are going to blindly vote for McCain. Why? Oh he's a freaking republican. Bush is a republican. Do you think we are in a better place now than we were 8-years ago? NO. Now, if a republican like Ron Paul was running who is a real republican and not some rediculous neo-conservative, I would be happy to live in a state where people just blindly vote for any retard with an elephant next to their name. However, my republican option is McCain. John McCain. OMG. Heaven help us all. So now when I go vote I will be doing so knowing that it is a waste of my time and the paper on which I punch out Obama's name.
For my son, this occupation needs to end. It's not a war. It is an occupation, and guess what, YOU CAN'T WIN AN OCCUPATION!!!!! I have been following this war since it began. I was one of those news junkies who was up and watching when we bombed Iraq for the very first time. It was breaking news on CNN, and I was sick over it. I have been against this since the beginning. I have been against our retarded President. I am sick over the state of our country. I am sick knowing that this is the legacy I am leaving my son. And if you can't tell, I'm just rambling, venting, and generally going off because I am so frustrated!!!!!
I am blessed to be in a home. I am blessed that we found a lender who was willing to give us a chance. I am blessed that we were able to get an FHA loan and that when we got our loan we were still able to receive "gifted" money, as we had to come up with 3% of our loan. I am able to give my son a safe and stable place to live right now. I can't control the rest of the country, I can only hope that people start to see the light and my generation starts to vote and participate in our political system. Right now, the decisions that are being made while we aren't paying attention are going to be effecting us for the rest of our lives and our ignorance is going to burden our children and our children's children.
And for anyone still reading and curious. This is one of those chain emails I got, but it helped put things into perspective. Consider the following. We are going to potentially give wallstreet 700Billion, we gave Ford and GM 25Billion, and Iraq costs us 10Billion a month. Our current national debt is over 12TRILLION. The following email is "What is a billion"
This is too true to be funny
The next time you hear a politician use the
word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about
whether you want the 'politicians' spending
YOUR tax money.
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,
but one advertising agency did a good job of
putting that figure into some perspective in
one of its releases.
A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were
living in the Stone Age.
D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and
20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.
While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division
Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number, what does it mean?
A. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of
New Orleans (every! man, w oman, child), you
each get $516,528.
B. Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in
New Orleans ! , your home gets $1,329,787.
C. Or, if you are a family of four, your family
gets $2,066,012.
Washington , D.C .. HELLO!!! ... Are all your calculators broken??
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Perm it Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax),
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax),
Liquor Tax,
Luxury Tax,
Marriage License Tax,
Medicare Tax,
Property Tax,
Real Estate Tax,
Service charge taxes,
Social Security Tax,
Road Usage Tax (Truckers),
Sales Taxes,
Recreational Vehicle Tax,
School Tax,
State Income Tax,
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA),
Telephone Federal Excise Tax,
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fe e Tax,
Telephone Federal, State and Local Su rcharge Tax,
Telephone Minimum Usage Su rcharge Tax,
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax,
Telephone State and Local Tax! ,
Telephone Usage Charge Tax,
Utility Tax,
Vehicle License Registration Tax,
Vehicle Sales Tax,
Watercraft Registration Tax,
Well Permit Tax,
Workers Compensation Tax.
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago,
and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What happened? Can you spell 'politicians!'
And I still have to 'press
1' for English.
I hope this goes around THE
USA at least 100 times
What the heck happened?????
And this is why I ranted.
Today I legally changed my name from Carlie Celeste Campbell, the name I was given at birth and have signed for the last 26-1/2 years, to Carlie Celeste Hahn. I have been procrastinating the whole name change thing for a while now. I love my husband, I love his name, and I always told him I would take his name. Yet, when it came down to it... I was... reluctant. I am fairly confident that the majority of my feelings have to do with the fact that I am pregnant and overly emotional; however, I really felt like a part of me was dying by giving up my name - and as dramatic as I'm sure I sound, today is the day that Carlie Celeste Campbell is gone. So let's mourn the loss of the Carlie as we have known her, and celebrate the creation of the all new Carlie Hahn.
The good news is that I got registered to vote at my new address and with my new name. Also when my little Jayden is born I will have the same last name as my beautiful baby boy, which I hear reduces complication!
-UPDATES-
- Beej and I have been in our house for nearly two months now. We absolutely love it. My home is beautiful and is perfect for entertaining.
- I am 29-weeks along now. Jayden is a very active little man. He kicks all day long! It is a fabulous feeling. He's so strong that you can see my stomach jump when he kicks me!
- My son seems to love music just like his daddy! When BJ plays certain songs on RockBand, Jayden just kicks and kicks. Like he's dancing or drumming just like his daddy. It is very cute.
- My baby brother Brandon - who will soon be 18 - has been cast as Kinicki in Logan High School's production of Grease! Dates for the musical are November 21-22, 2008. Brandon has also been nominated for Homecoming royalty! Go SOUP!
I'll post again soon.
The good news is that I got registered to vote at my new address and with my new name. Also when my little Jayden is born I will have the same last name as my beautiful baby boy, which I hear reduces complication!
-UPDATES-
- Beej and I have been in our house for nearly two months now. We absolutely love it. My home is beautiful and is perfect for entertaining.
- I am 29-weeks along now. Jayden is a very active little man. He kicks all day long! It is a fabulous feeling. He's so strong that you can see my stomach jump when he kicks me!
- My son seems to love music just like his daddy! When BJ plays certain songs on RockBand, Jayden just kicks and kicks. Like he's dancing or drumming just like his daddy. It is very cute.
- My baby brother Brandon - who will soon be 18 - has been cast as Kinicki in Logan High School's production of Grease! Dates for the musical are November 21-22, 2008. Brandon has also been nominated for Homecoming royalty! Go SOUP!
I'll post again soon.
I dedicate this to BJ. If only it had been out when we got married, this would have been our first dance!
Song: Tangled up in you
Artist: Staind
You're My World
The Shelter From The Rain
You're The Pills
That Take Away My Pain
You're The Light
That Helps Me Find My Way
You're The Words
When I Have Nothing To Say
And In This World
Where Nothing Else Is True
Here I Am
Still Tangled Up In You
I'm Still Tangled Up In You
Still Tangled Up In You
You're The Fire
That Warms Me When I'm Cold
You're The Hand
I Have To Hold As I Grow Old
You're The Shore
When I Am Lost At Sea
You're The Only Thing
That I Like About Me
And In This World
Where Nothing Else Is True
Here I Am
Still Tangled Up In You
I'm Still Tangled Up In You
How Long Has It Been
Since This Storyline Began
And I Hope It Never Ends
And Goes Like This Forever
In This World
Where Nothing Else Is True
Here I Am
Still Tangled Up In You
Tangled Up In You
I'm Still Tangled Up In You
Still Tangled Up In You
Song: Tangled up in you
Artist: Staind
You're My World
The Shelter From The Rain
You're The Pills
That Take Away My Pain
You're The Light
That Helps Me Find My Way
You're The Words
When I Have Nothing To Say
And In This World
Where Nothing Else Is True
Here I Am
Still Tangled Up In You
I'm Still Tangled Up In You
Still Tangled Up In You
You're The Fire
That Warms Me When I'm Cold
You're The Hand
I Have To Hold As I Grow Old
You're The Shore
When I Am Lost At Sea
You're The Only Thing
That I Like About Me
And In This World
Where Nothing Else Is True
Here I Am
Still Tangled Up In You
I'm Still Tangled Up In You
How Long Has It Been
Since This Storyline Began
And I Hope It Never Ends
And Goes Like This Forever
In This World
Where Nothing Else Is True
Here I Am
Still Tangled Up In You
Tangled Up In You
I'm Still Tangled Up In You
Still Tangled Up In You
So we're back from our road trip, it was... right... next subject! The day of my last entry they surprised us with the inspection and appraisal. Everything with our house is perfect. We're moving towards closing on Tuesday! Yay!
So I've been experiencing some things with my pregnancy lately and I'm kind of freaking out. Things are painful. I have 3 separate types of pain. First, Jayden is just getting big and he's heavy. I can feel the weight of him and the pressure it is putting on me, it's not pleasant but it is to be expected and only going to get worse. Second, I've been experiencing a pinching/jabbing pain that I am told is round ligament pain and totally normal since the week of my wedding which was nearly 2 months ago. Last, I am having contractions. It is the only way to explain it. I get a sharp, breath-taking pain that lasts a minute or two then goes away. The more active I am (like packing, cleaning, etc) the worse it gets - at least it happens more frequently. It literally feels like my body is contracting... It is constricting and causing me pain, and it scares me. I know Braxton-Hicks are supposed to be normal, but they aren't supposed to be painful yet and they aren't supposed to be frequent. What I am feeling is both painful and frequent. Now I'm trying to just be patient, I go to the doc on the 7th and I plan on talking to her when I go, I am just a little scared.
Everyone keeps telling me "things are only going to get worse" and this statement is freaking me out. I'm already huge! I am vertically challenged, I have no torso, I knew I was gonna get big... but I can't imagine my poor stomach stretching out any further than it already has... Sleeping is getting difficult, he's heavy inside of me and it just hurts.... And like I said earlier, he's heavy and I can feel his weight as he grows... All of this is "only going to get worse!" Holy S*** are you serious??? I am freaking out a bit! lol
I just hope that my family understands and loves me when it comes to moving day... I am realizing more and more that I can't do a whole lot. I feel a bit worthless and helpless... I just have a really hard time giving up control and letting other people do everything for me! Poor me, what a sad little post. I guess i just needed to get this off my chest lol. I'll write a happier post next time :)
So I've been experiencing some things with my pregnancy lately and I'm kind of freaking out. Things are painful. I have 3 separate types of pain. First, Jayden is just getting big and he's heavy. I can feel the weight of him and the pressure it is putting on me, it's not pleasant but it is to be expected and only going to get worse. Second, I've been experiencing a pinching/jabbing pain that I am told is round ligament pain and totally normal since the week of my wedding which was nearly 2 months ago. Last, I am having contractions. It is the only way to explain it. I get a sharp, breath-taking pain that lasts a minute or two then goes away. The more active I am (like packing, cleaning, etc) the worse it gets - at least it happens more frequently. It literally feels like my body is contracting... It is constricting and causing me pain, and it scares me. I know Braxton-Hicks are supposed to be normal, but they aren't supposed to be painful yet and they aren't supposed to be frequent. What I am feeling is both painful and frequent. Now I'm trying to just be patient, I go to the doc on the 7th and I plan on talking to her when I go, I am just a little scared.
Everyone keeps telling me "things are only going to get worse" and this statement is freaking me out. I'm already huge! I am vertically challenged, I have no torso, I knew I was gonna get big... but I can't imagine my poor stomach stretching out any further than it already has... Sleeping is getting difficult, he's heavy inside of me and it just hurts.... And like I said earlier, he's heavy and I can feel his weight as he grows... All of this is "only going to get worse!" Holy S*** are you serious??? I am freaking out a bit! lol
I just hope that my family understands and loves me when it comes to moving day... I am realizing more and more that I can't do a whole lot. I feel a bit worthless and helpless... I just have a really hard time giving up control and letting other people do everything for me! Poor me, what a sad little post. I guess i just needed to get this off my chest lol. I'll write a happier post next time :)
So yesterday I had the opportunity to go to a private showing of the new Batman film at Jordan Commons. Beej's buddy Travis works for an awesome company that allowed him to bring friends and family with to the showing! It was awesome! The movie is fantastic! Heath Ledger did a phenomenal job! I'm even glad I went to see it in the theater (and if you know me, you know that is huge, cuz I hate theaters!). It is also one of those that I will definitely be purchasing when it is released! If you liked Batman Begins, you will love this one!
Tonight we're going on a road trip! Heading to Logan tonight, leaving Friday morning for Idaho Falls, coming back to Logan Saturday night probably, then home to SLC on Sunday! I haven't seen my family since the wedding, which was nearly 2 months ago! Stupid gas prices!!!!
Our appraisal and inspection is scheduled for the first of next week. I am going today to see the house again, I'm going to take a bunch of pictures. If I can figure it out, I will post them all on here for you to see! I'm very proud of our first house! I'm so excited!!!!!
Tonight we're going on a road trip! Heading to Logan tonight, leaving Friday morning for Idaho Falls, coming back to Logan Saturday night probably, then home to SLC on Sunday! I haven't seen my family since the wedding, which was nearly 2 months ago! Stupid gas prices!!!!
Our appraisal and inspection is scheduled for the first of next week. I am going today to see the house again, I'm going to take a bunch of pictures. If I can figure it out, I will post them all on here for you to see! I'm very proud of our first house! I'm so excited!!!!!
It's been a while since my last post. BJ and I have been very busy with things, but I have a lot of awesome updates and only a little bit of time!
First, and most importantly, IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!!!! We found out on the 15th that I am having a boy, his name will be Jayden Chandler Hahn. We are all very excited. The Hahn name would have ended with BJ and his brother Matt, so everyone was hoping for a boy to carry on the Hahn legacy! haha. Looks like the Hahn's will live to see another generation! I was excited because I have 3 brothers. I am better with boys than I am with girls. Granted, I still want a girl someday, but only one. Lol, I essentially want my family: 3 boys, 1 girl. My ever so eloquent and loving father said "Good! They are much easier" when I told him it was a boy.
Next, BJ and I are buying our first house! We started the pre-approval process at the end of June, and then started looking at houses shortly there after. We have a fabulous agent, Toni Allen, who does this in her spare time, but is amazing. She found the house we made an offer on. It is a great home. It was very well taken care of. The couple who built the home are the ones who are selling it to us. We accepted their counter offer, and the inspection/appraisal are scheduled for next week! We gave our landlord notice and we have to be out of our condo by August 13, so the closing has to happen by Aug 8th so that my Logan crew can come down and help me move on the weekend :) They're all so sweet! (Another perk of 3 brothers!!). The house is perfect for us. It has a big kitchen, hardwood floors, a finished basement, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 3 family rooms. It has an open floor plan and the yard is phenomenal! It is so private and has giant trees. It is so exciting! I can't wait to have a BBQ with all my friends and family in my own home! The best part for me is that I will have a bedroom for my baby. I will have a place for him and all of his stuff. I can paint how I want to, I can decorate how I want, I can make any change that my budget will allow.
I hope you are all doing well and I apologize for being an airhead lately. As you can see I've been quite busy and focused on other things. I love you all and I promise I'll get better at staying in touch! I'll post again soon :)
Q
First, and most importantly, IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!!!! We found out on the 15th that I am having a boy, his name will be Jayden Chandler Hahn. We are all very excited. The Hahn name would have ended with BJ and his brother Matt, so everyone was hoping for a boy to carry on the Hahn legacy! haha. Looks like the Hahn's will live to see another generation! I was excited because I have 3 brothers. I am better with boys than I am with girls. Granted, I still want a girl someday, but only one. Lol, I essentially want my family: 3 boys, 1 girl. My ever so eloquent and loving father said "Good! They are much easier" when I told him it was a boy.
Next, BJ and I are buying our first house! We started the pre-approval process at the end of June, and then started looking at houses shortly there after. We have a fabulous agent, Toni Allen, who does this in her spare time, but is amazing. She found the house we made an offer on. It is a great home. It was very well taken care of. The couple who built the home are the ones who are selling it to us. We accepted their counter offer, and the inspection/appraisal are scheduled for next week! We gave our landlord notice and we have to be out of our condo by August 13, so the closing has to happen by Aug 8th so that my Logan crew can come down and help me move on the weekend :) They're all so sweet! (Another perk of 3 brothers!!). The house is perfect for us. It has a big kitchen, hardwood floors, a finished basement, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 3 family rooms. It has an open floor plan and the yard is phenomenal! It is so private and has giant trees. It is so exciting! I can't wait to have a BBQ with all my friends and family in my own home! The best part for me is that I will have a bedroom for my baby. I will have a place for him and all of his stuff. I can paint how I want to, I can decorate how I want, I can make any change that my budget will allow.
I hope you are all doing well and I apologize for being an airhead lately. As you can see I've been quite busy and focused on other things. I love you all and I promise I'll get better at staying in touch! I'll post again soon :)
Q
I am 18-19 weeks pregnant right now. Every day I am amazed by the miracle that is growing inside of me. I may be wrong about what I think I feel, but I don't care. It is my opinion of my pregnancy and how I believe things are happening... and ALL of it amazes, intrigues, and excites me. I can feel the baby getting heavier. I can feel his/her weight putting pressure on me moreso now than ever before. I can feel the baby stretching his/her arms and legs... It is amazing! I can feel a human growing inside of me. That is insane! I can't even describe this experience!
I am past most of the crappy stuff. I still have to pee every 5 minutes, I'm expanding and I just look HUGE! There are body parts that hurt like hell and other ones that are just sore and crampy all the time... Aside from that stuff, I am at the part of pregnancy that is really quite enjoyable! It's just a miracle. It is an enjoyable, amazing, gift that I am lucky enough to experience!
I have my next ultrasound on July 15, where we will hopefully find out whether "bean" is a boy or a girl :) I will keep you posted!
I am past most of the crappy stuff. I still have to pee every 5 minutes, I'm expanding and I just look HUGE! There are body parts that hurt like hell and other ones that are just sore and crampy all the time... Aside from that stuff, I am at the part of pregnancy that is really quite enjoyable! It's just a miracle. It is an enjoyable, amazing, gift that I am lucky enough to experience!
I have my next ultrasound on July 15, where we will hopefully find out whether "bean" is a boy or a girl :) I will keep you posted!
When I was planning my fabulous wedding, I wanted to have a Daddy-Daughter dance. I mean, this is my ONLY daddy and since I was having a full blown somewhat traditional wedding I wanted to have a dance with him. Well technically I wanted a lot of dancing, but specific dances with me and daddy, my mom to dance with each of my brothers, my dad to dance with Lisa, and Beej to dance with his mom... oh and the dance between Beej and myself. Sadly, the only dances that took place were between Beej and myself, and Beej and his mother.That said, I went to a lot of work to pick out a great Daddy-Daughter Dance song for us! Since I didn't get the chance to dance with him, and I still think the song that I picked is fabulous and perfect, I am going to post the lyrics for you and then you can find it and listen to it.
Song: I loved her first
Artist: Heartland
Look at the two of you dancing that way
Lost in the moment and each others face
So much in love your alone in this place
Like there's nobody else in the world
I was enough for her not long ago
I was her number one
She told me so
And she still means the world to me
Just so you know
So be careful when you hold my girl
Time changes everything
Life must go on
And I'm not gonna stand in your way
But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But its still hard to give her away
I loved her first
How could that beautiful women with you
Be the same freckle face kid that I knew
The one that I read all those fairy tales to
And tucked into bed all those nights
And I knew the first time I saw you with her
It was only a matter of time
But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But its still hard to give her away
I loved her first
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
Someday you might know what I'm going through
When a miracle smiles up at you
I loved her first
Now, if I knew how to upload music to a blog, I would add the song for you... but alas, I have NO idea how to do that! heheDaddy, this was supposed to be our song. Maybe someday we'll dance to it :) LoveQ
Tonight is another pregnant sleepless night. I tried sleeping, but I woke up covered in hives scratching myself again. I took a bunch of Benadryl, as I usually do, and now I'm up and bored til the stuff kicks in :)
I wanted to create a journal for my baby. Something that he/she could have someday to know more about mom and dad and where they came from. I had been attempting to write all of that information down, but I have been failing miserably. I told my friend Stacie about my "goal" and she recommended that I start a blog. I never really pictured myself as a blogger, but being able to mindlessly type in an online journal is pretty cool. Plus I type a hell of a lot faster than I can write!!
Today was a pretty crazy day! BJ and I started a pre-qualification process on a mortgage. We just might have our house by the time the baby gets here! We drove around for a few hours looking at houses and I have to say that I am in LOVE with the Daybreak area. It had the most amazing Pleasantville feel to it (if that doesn't make sense to you, watch the movie!). There were kids playing everywhere, it felt so happy and safe... It was almost like the feeling of Bristol Road where I grew up. I want that for my kids. I want my kids to be able to play in a neighborhood where it is safe and parents don't have to watch the kids every move... I want my kids to grow up in an area down here that is similar to where I was lucky enough to grow up. I don't want to deadbolt my kids in to a house and tell them to stay inside until I get home from work. I never had to do that growing up and I certainly don't want to do that to my children because we choose to live in more of a city than Logan.
There were parks all over in Daybreak, a man-made lake... beautiful scenery everywhere. The houses are so cute and they are all new which means that there is going to be less maintenance for us in the short-term. The houses will definitely appreciate out there as well, so even a townhouse is a good investment opportunity. BJ should find out tomorrow how much of a mortgage he qualifies for, and then we can start the search. We didn't even want to start this process until after we had the pre-qual letter. It is looking very promising though and we are absolutely ecstatic over this!
I will keep you posted.
LoveQ
I wanted to create a journal for my baby. Something that he/she could have someday to know more about mom and dad and where they came from. I had been attempting to write all of that information down, but I have been failing miserably. I told my friend Stacie about my "goal" and she recommended that I start a blog. I never really pictured myself as a blogger, but being able to mindlessly type in an online journal is pretty cool. Plus I type a hell of a lot faster than I can write!!
Today was a pretty crazy day! BJ and I started a pre-qualification process on a mortgage. We just might have our house by the time the baby gets here! We drove around for a few hours looking at houses and I have to say that I am in LOVE with the Daybreak area. It had the most amazing Pleasantville feel to it (if that doesn't make sense to you, watch the movie!). There were kids playing everywhere, it felt so happy and safe... It was almost like the feeling of Bristol Road where I grew up. I want that for my kids. I want my kids to be able to play in a neighborhood where it is safe and parents don't have to watch the kids every move... I want my kids to grow up in an area down here that is similar to where I was lucky enough to grow up. I don't want to deadbolt my kids in to a house and tell them to stay inside until I get home from work. I never had to do that growing up and I certainly don't want to do that to my children because we choose to live in more of a city than Logan.
There were parks all over in Daybreak, a man-made lake... beautiful scenery everywhere. The houses are so cute and they are all new which means that there is going to be less maintenance for us in the short-term. The houses will definitely appreciate out there as well, so even a townhouse is a good investment opportunity. BJ should find out tomorrow how much of a mortgage he qualifies for, and then we can start the search. We didn't even want to start this process until after we had the pre-qual letter. It is looking very promising though and we are absolutely ecstatic over this!
I will keep you posted.
LoveQ
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