Holidays... I need input :)

So my post on dads in the delivery room has been successful enough in the voting category or input rather, that I am going to try it again. And, by the way, thank you for your comments about dads in the delivery room. It has led me to believe that the research my husband found was the minority not the majority, and he truly does have a place in the delivery room... Not that I would have let him get out of being in there, had he even wanted to, in the first place. He knew his attendance was mandatory :)

Note: This turned out to be a much longer and more in-depth post than I originally intended. If you don't want to have to read all of my ramblings, you can scroll to the bottom where I finally ask the question lol.

Ok, so holidays. The beauty and complication of the holidays. I have a complicated family, which is even more complicated by the fact that they live 2-hours away. My holidays were always busy even when I was single. I have my mom, my dad & step-mom, and lots of extended family. There are always 2 Thanksgiving dinners, at least. There are always at least 2 Christmas dinners as well. The holidays are spent running all over Logan. It is chaotic, but it is my family. I love them all, and I want to spend as much time with them as I can. Since meeting my husband, 4-years ago, we have added into this crazy mix, his family. They are far more simple than mine; however, they live in SLC with their extended family up in Idaho Falls. The only thing that complicates his family is that they aren't used to having to share (Beej and his ex-wife spent all holidays with his family because hers lived in Arkansas). They have done well with sharing for the most part, but at first it was tough and they are still getting used to it.

Thanksgiving has been the simple holiday. We alternate. First year, we spent it with his family in Idaho Falls, then mine, then his, and this year again with his because I will be so close to my due date I don't want to drive up to Logan and be far away from my hospital. Thanksgiving though has never really been a problem. Christmas, on the other hand, is a whole different story.

My dad's birthday is Christmas Eve. (I know, poor guy) My mother-in-law's birthday is the day after Christmas. My step-mother's family usually has a big Christmas party on Christmas Eve. My in-laws have a big Christmas Eve dinner tradition with nothing other than presents on Christmas Day. My mom has a Christmas Eve PJ's tradition. Ok, so since my dad usually goes to the Christmas Eve party with his wife, I have spent Christmas Eve with my husband's family every year since we met. My mom would like to see us on Christmas Eve, which I don't blame her, I'd like to see her too! My dad doesn't care. He's easy in all of this. So, since this is getting all confusing, let me try to simplify. For the last 3 years, I have spent Christmas Eve with BJ's family. Christmas morning we get up, open presents with his family, eat breakfast, pack up my Jimmy, and drive to Logan. Where we run around like chickens with our heads cut off all day long. The first year I was with BJ, we drove back to SLC on Christmas Day so we spent the next day with his mom on her birthday. Since then, I have said NAY to that. If we are missing my dad's birthday to spend it with his mom, we're missing his mom's birthday to spend it with my dad. I gave them slack on the first year because they weren't used to having to share. However, since then, I have decided that they just need to learn and we would help them do that. So after that first year, we drive back to SLC the day after Christmas.

Before I got pregnant, we were going to start a new Christmas schedule. We were going to alternate years on Christmas Eve. So, all of that which I explained above on opposite years. That way, every other year we'd actually spend the birthday with the parent whose birthday it actually is. And my family would get to see me on Christmas morning for the first time in 3-years. (My brothers really love their sister!!!!! They have been giving me crap about this for a LONG time now!) This new plan was because my husband said "I'm not going to make you go a year without seeing your family over Christmas, and I know you wouldn't want to do that to me either." He's close in his assumption, but not quite. See, I'm used to alternating years with my grandparents. He is not, his is a long and somewhat complicated family story, which I will summarize with - He only spent time with his paternal grandparents and paternal extended family on ALL holidays up until a few years ago. My extended family all lived in Logan and we'd just alternate Christmas dinners between them, this continued for the most part even after my parents divorced. So I am totally used to not seeing one side or the other on Christmas every other year. To me, that is normal. You alternate. If one family gets you for Thanksgiving, the other gets you for Christmas. And when your siblings all get married, which mine are years away from doing, you try to coordinate so your families are all together at the same time.

This year is complicated and I don't know what to do. I will have a newborn. I will have a cute, sweet, tiny little baby - who just so happens to be EVERYONE'S first grandchild. I have a new house, a new baby, and I've created my own little family. He's going to be so new that everyone is going to want to spend time with him on Christmas. He's going to be so new that I am just going to want to relax. I don't know what to do. See, in my opinion, NOW is the time to put feet down and alternate completely. We spend ALL of Christmas with one family or the other. And since Thanksgiving will be spent with the Hahn family this year, I feel that Christmas should be spent in Logan. I know that is going to be insanely hard on my in-laws. This is their first little grandbaby, they want to spend time with him and spoil him on Christmas (even though he's just going to be a cute, sleeping, little lump on Christmas). My family also wants to spend time with him. I don't want to do it like we have done in the past. Last year, the roads were sooooo bad and icy that we watched about 8 cars get in a wreck in front of us, and just barely missed being involved ourselves. I don't want to go through that with my newborn. I've joked that everyone just needs to come to us this year, but I know that wont happen. My dad and Lisa wont come down here for Christmas. Which is fine, they don't have to... and I'm sure my mom would, but I don't know about my brothers.... and it just isn't Christmas without my brothers! I love my brothers. They are my best little friends. They are my family. They have to be there. Ugh... so frustratingly complicated :(

This has been a very long, rambling post. Mostly I need to try to sort my thoughts and come up with a solution because I have lots of family members asking me what our plans are - Yes, I realize it is only October lol.

Here is where I need input:

What does your family do at Christmas time? How do you split your holidays? Last, do you have any advice for me? lol

Thank you! I need all the help I can get right now!