Those of you who are friends of mine on Facebook know that I have been following the health care debate closely. I wanted to take a minute and explain why this issue is so important to me. I have been a supporter of health reform for a long time. I want to share some stories. This is going to be a long post, so I will apologize in advance.

Six years ago, my cousin and his wife learned that their daughter, who had just turned 1, had a tumor on her liver which had metastasized into her lungs. She needed chemotherapy to get the cancer in her lungs, and a liver transplant. She went through many rounds of chemo and once all the cancer cells were gone from her lungs, she was placed on the transplant list. She was blessed to receive a new liver, and when they removed the old liver, they found the tumor was taking up 3/4 of it. Just the transplant alone was over $1,000,000.00. (My lifetime maximum on my current policy is one million dollars.) They were blessed to have excellent insurance through his job at Nintendo. After some time, the cancer came back. She had to go through chemo again. The chemo destroyed her new liver and she was once again placed on the transplant list. She received another liver. My cousin found a job in Utah and began working for the state. He is now working 2 jobs, his wife is working 1, and they have placed their little girl on Medicare as a secondary insurance to help with the costs of her ongoing treatment, as she will always be monitored closely. He is working 2 jobs just to pay for the costs of her medication. She becomes resistant to the medications after time so she must always be on the newest medications out there. The insurance companies wont cover those medications, even though they are the only ones that work. So he works two jobs and sacrifices every day so that he can keep his precious little girl alive and well. This is a VERY condensed version of the story, but this is only one of the stories I am going to share.

My uncle has cystic fibrosis. I am posting the definition of cystic fibrosis for those of you who aren't familiar with the genetic condition.

What is cystic fibrosis?

Cystic fibrosis (CF) is an inherited disease of your mucus and sweat glands. It affects mostly your lungs, pancreas, liver, intestines, sinuses, and sex organs.

Normally, mucus is watery. It keeps the linings of certain organs moist and prevents them from drying out or getting infected. But in CF, an abnormal gene causes mucus to become thick and sticky.

The mucus builds up in your lungs and blocks the airways. This makes it easy for bacteria to grow and leads to repeated serious lung infections. Over time, these infections can cause serious damage to your lungs.

The thick, sticky mucus can also block tubes, or ducts, in your pancreas. As a result, digestive enzymes that are produced by your pancreas cannot reach your small intestine. These enzymes help break down the food that you eat. Without them, your intestines cannot absorb fats and proteins fully.

As a result:

• Nutrients leave your body unused, and you can become malnourished.
  
  
• Your stools become bulky.
  
  
• You may not get enough vitamins A, D, E, and K .
  
  
• You may have intestinal gas, a swollen belly, and pain or discomfort.

The abnormal gene also causes your sweat to become extremely salty. As a result, when you perspire, your body loses large amounts of salt. This can upset the balance of minerals in your blood. The imbalance may cause you to have a heat emergency.

CF can also cause infertility (mostly in men).

The symptoms and severity of CF vary from person to person. Some people with CF have serious lung and digestive problems. Other people have more mild disease that doesn't show up until they are adolescents or young adults.

Respiratory failure is the most common cause of death in people with CF.

Until the 1980s, most deaths from CF occurred in children and teenagers. Today, with improved treatments, people with CF live, on average, to be more than 35 years old.
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My uncle is 54. He worked as a chemical engineer until they decided he was too sick to continue working and the company forced him into long-term disability, which happened when I was only 5 or 6. He has saved his entire life to be able to pay for a lung transplant someday, which he was fortunate enough to receive a few months ago. He has insurance, but with our current system, it isn't enough.

I have poly-cystic ovarian syndrome, endometriosis, and non-classic cystic fibrosis (which was the cause of my pancreatitis along with a list of other problems that are CF related). Last year, I turned 26 which meant that I could no longer be on my parents insurance. I was engaged to be married, but at the time my wedding date was August 8, 2008. So for 6-months I would be left uninsured. For me, this is not an acceptable option. I wasn't working, as I was going to school at the time and my fiance was supporting both of us. We looked and looked for an acceptable insurance option, but I was told more than once that I was "uninsurable" on an individually underwritten policy. I also learned that while there is a pre-existing condition grace period of 60 or 90-days when going from group policy to group policy, the same does not apply when going from a group policy to an individually underwritten policy. We moved our wedding date up to June 6, 2008 and decided that the best option would be for me to go on Cobra until we were married and I could get on his policy. I was blessed to have family help cover the exceptionally high costs of Cobra for 3-months, as BJ and I could not have done so on our own.

It was very lucky that we did that, as we discovered on April 4, 2008 that I was pregnant with our first child. However, I was uninsured for 5 days - which I was not aware of at the time, I thought the coverage ran through the 5th of each month, that was not the case. During that 5-day period of time, I had some pre-natal testing done. The costs of the one day of tests for me, because I was not insured and thus had no price negotiating power, was over $1300.00, which I am still paying for. In November, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. My cost for that was $1500.00. In January, I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance as my oxygen levels dropped to 65 (anything below 90 is considered bad) and I was turning blue. I am still paying the out of pocket medical bills for that as well. This may not seem like a lot to some, but when you are working on a single income to raise a family, this really adds up. We blew through all $1500 of our flex spending by May of this year and we still have well over $3000.00 in medical bills that we are making payments on.

On August 28, 2009 my husband was laid off from his job, as his company decided to save money and outsource their IT department. I am currently 4-months pregnant. It has already been established that I am uninsurable under the current system. Because I am pregnant, I will qualify for Medicaid when the severance Cobra runs out; however, I have never been on state assistance for anything and would prefer to have an option to actually pay a reasonable premium for quality medical care. And then what will happen after I have the baby if, God forbid, my husband is still unemployed? Will I be able to stay on Medicaid if we can't afford to continue Cobra? These are things that worry me deeply.

Obama recently passed a plan to help make Cobra more affordable, and I thank God that he did so. Without the discount associated with the Obama plan, our monthly Cobra premiums would be $916.00 a month, with his discount it is down to $320.00.

We are praying that BJ is able to find a job quickly. He is intelligent and excellent at what he does, but the pregnant woman in me is preparing for the worst case scenario. I am now one of the millions in this great country that could be without insurance. That seems unacceptable to me. Not just for selfish reasons, but for all of those other people out there who face similar circumstances.

I have worked in the insurance industry. I know how inefficient the system is. I know how often claims are denied for the silliest of reasons. We desperately need reform with a public option of some kind. There needs to be competition out there. There needs to be change. We cannot continue the path we are on. One of the leading causes for bankruptcy in this country is medical bills. As a nation, we love to say how we are the best, the greatest, the most prosperous nation on earth. Yet how can a great nation leave so many without affordable health care? I have heard talk of subsidies and vouchers, but that does not come close to making health care affordable. The average person has no idea of the cost of any procedure or office visit prior to the visit. We cannot make informed decisions on our own. We do not have negotiating power to lower prices. The insurance companies do not pay the amount billed, they have a contractual agreement with providers which lowers prices. The uninsured do not have this option. What does one do when they can't afford the premiums to get on an individually underwritten policy or when the insurance they can afford doesn't cover enough which leaves them with huge out of pocket expenses?

I know this is an exceptionally long post, but this is something that I truly believe in. This is something that I feel is so important for our country. I believe in personal accountability, but I also believe that it is wrong to allow people in this country to suffer and die because they can't afford health care. Many still get health care, but the cost is passed on to those with insurance by increased costs for medical care. It is easy to be disconnected from this issue, it is easy to say "well I'm healthy so why should I pay for someone who is sick?" because someday, you could be the unlucky and unfortunate one to get sick. We all pay for Medicare and seniors love it. We should take as good of care for the rest of our citizens as we do for our seniors.

I started reading the 1000 page house bill HR3200 health care reform bill. I haven't finished it, but wanted to give a quick analysis on what I have read thus far.

I am going to start with the rumor about death panels and that this bill will "pull the plug on grandma" I have read the section in question regarding these claims and I cannot comprehend how one came to such a conclusion. The bill says that Medicare will pay for end of life counseling as often as every 5-years for those who wish to receive it. It also outlines what should be covered in such a counseling session. It concludes that doctors must adhere to the wishes of the patient for "life sustaining treatment." Again, I cannot see how a connection is made between calling for life sustaining treatment with the payment of optional counseling for seniors and death panels or killing old people. In my opinion, this is just meant to scare the elderly, which is both cruel and unfair. Few people will actually take the time to read the bill and we depend on our elected officials to accurately relay the information to us, as well as the media. This is not happening causing an irrational uproar over absolutely nothing.

Next, the bill states that policies must remove the lifetime and annual maximum on coverage, again a good thing. It says that coverage cannot be denied or delayed on the basis of a pre-existing condition. Another excellent thing. The details of the public plan are fantastic and would essentially be a big group plan for those who are uninsured or interested in participating because coverage on an individually underwritten plan is so difficult to attain.

I will keep reading, however because so few in favor are speaking out, especially those favoring a public OPTION, Washington is back peddling and talking of removing the public option which will significantly weaken the reform and cost savings to Americans. Why else would insurance companies stock prices be soaring with the white houses public wavering on said option? The crazies and the misinformed are speaking the loudest and getting the most attention, leading our lawmakers to cower in fear and assume that is a majority opinion. If you favor a public option, make yourself heard. We need to fight back or we will lose this fight and as the congressional budget office reported, if effective reform is not passed - especially reform without a public option, 1/4 of a family's income will go to medical premiums and costs by 2020. We are currently spending 18% of our incomes on insurance, on average.

Just my thoughts.

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A happy Jayden in his crib. I walked in to get him in the morning and this is how he greeted me!

We had our first prenatal visit today. I got to hear my baby's heartbeat for the first time. It was a wonderful experience. It never ceases to amaze me that I am growing a little person inside of me. My official due date is February 24, 2010. Although, the doctor was kind enough to remind me that I had Jayden at 37-weeks, so I was likely to have this one early too LOL. If I have this baby at 37-weeks also, that puts me at the beginning of February. I suppose 14-months apart for the little ones isn't too bad. I go in for the integrated screening on the 17th, and it will be the end of September before we officially learn the sex. However, the pool for "girl" is growing by the minute. Even my doctor and her nurse are guessing "girl" because I am so much more sick this time around than I was last time. I have just had a feeling all along that I was having a girl, just like I had a feeling all along that Jayden would be a boy. In fact, I've bought a couple of little girl items and have been calling the baby Aubrey when I talk to my tummy. If it is a girl, her name will be Aubrey McKenna Hahn. If it is a boy, we're still arguing over names! I like Mason, he says no. All the other names I like have been taken! So, fingers crossed for a girl! Makes the naming process easier... bedroom situation a little more difficult eventually, but naming process easier!

Uncle Val got out of the hospital today and looked like he was doing pretty darn good considering he wasn't on any pain meds and he had chest tubes taken out earlier today. His siblings came together and bought him an iPod Classic. I loaded it with music and books and took it to him in the hospital last week. I really wanted to get him a useful recovery gift and wasn't in a position financially to purchase it myself, so I emailed my aunts and uncles and they all liked the idea :) So they put up the cost, I just got to do the work behind it. I had tried for weeks to make the audiobooks I have work on his cell phone with micro sd cards and it just wasn't working... Verizon has a stupid method for adding files and sorting them. You can't just put in a folder and have the device sort the files that way... you have to add each file to the phone and it is a pain in the butt to say the least.... I finally just gave up! Besides an iPod is a much more wonderful way to listen to things.

BJ has a job interview tomorrow, I know that whatever is meant to happen will. I just hope that if this job isn't meant to be, something else will come up soon. I want to see him happy again and loving his job. He loves the work he does, but with so much that has gone on at his company over the past year, it is just hard to stay there... In fact, he has lasted longer than I thought. But, that network is his baby. He created it, molded it, put so much time and effort into it, that he was hanging on. When people don't understand what he does and ignorantly believe that technology is just magic, it makes things difficult. That is the life of an IT guy. People just think that their computers, the internet, all of it is just magic and simple. Of course, we are just grateful that he still has a job. So many others have been unfortunate enough to lose theirs and that makes life so difficult. He is this family's sole provider. I am blessed to be able to stay at home, but with that comes certain other realities, such as what would happen if he were to lose his job. We just hope that is something we never have to deal with.

We are going on a vacation with my mom and brothers to California on Saturday the 8th through the 16th. It will be the last family vacation for at least 2 years, as Brandon will be going on his mission in a month. So hard for me to think that I will be without my baby brother for two whole years. He will miss the birth of his newest niece/nephew. Luckily we can send pics and email. If I wasn't able to have any communication with him for that long I would go crazy! I might kidnap him and force him to stay home! I'm selfish, I know. He is really excited about it though and that is what matters. I haven't had to deal with my other siblings going on missions, as they chose to stay home. California will be a lot of fun for us though. We got tickets to Six Flags, as well as Sea World. I'm so excited to see how Jayden reacts to all the fish. I am a little apprehensive as to how he will do for the most of the trip, we have such a schedule when he is home and to deviate from that could mean a grumpy boy... We shall see!

We are hoping that when we get home from this trip life will calm down a little for us. We still need to get the house in order, get some things organized and de-clutter. It is amazing how much crap single people can accumulate! My wardrobe alone is massive and I don't wear 90% of the stuff I have. When you are DINKS without a washer and dryer, it is sometimes more efficient to buy new clothes rather than do laundry... This adds up quickly and then you just have boxes and boxes of clothing and more socks and underwear than will fit in 3 dresser drawers! Now that I have the anti-emetics to help with my morning sickness, as well as the CPAP I will hopefully be getting soon, I am hoping to be able to be more productive. Being exhausted and nauseated all the time makes productivity limited. Some days it takes all I have in me to be mom... adding housekeeper to that just isn't going to happen. For those women out there who can do it all, hats off to you because I don't know how you do it. One doesn't have a choice when it comes to taking care of the little one(s), we have to do it whether we feel like crap or not. However, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, laundry, etc., can all wait - up to a point... I have reached that point! haha. Anyway, that is enough ranting for now. I will write again soon.

It has been a really long tine since I took a moment to post anything. Our life has been so crazy for the past few months that I just haven't had the time. I'll highlight some of the big events.

Probably the biggest is that we found out that I'm pregnant again. The kids will be 15-months apart. At first I wasn't sure about this news. I had been on antibiotics for a month and it seems that is all it took. An anniversary baby was created! I'm 9-weeks along as of today. Now that I've had some time to process this information, I'm really excited about it. None of my siblings, or my husband's for that matter, are going to be having kids anytime soon, and this way Jayden will have a playmate. Yes it will be difficult. This is not news to us. However, since I was told repeatedly that I probably couldn't have kids, we are excited and feel like this was meant to be just as Jayden was.

My dear uncle Val was blessed with a lung transplant a month or so ago. I'm told that he is doing really well. We have been staying away, as I was sick and now Jayden is. They are staying with Stacy and Matt which is great because Val gets the opportunity to see his granddaughter on a daily basis.

I started a painting project a couple of months ago, but I bit off a little more than I could chew and sadly it is still incomplete. Because of this idiocy on my part, the house is in a state of complete disarray. We are working on it slowly but surely. It is making us awful friends and family members, but we need to get our house in order and finally make it ours. For so long we have lived here with the previous owners decor and they are about 40 years older than us. Needless to say, their taste differs greatly from ours. I still have no idea why they have a plant hook in the shower. Ahh generational differences lol. Mostly the house is in desperate need of updating. They have brass everything, awful floral wallpaper all over, and pink carpet. While we can't afford to replace all the carpet right away, with some paint and wallpaper remover we at least stand a chance of making it look nicer.

Jayden is growing so fast. He is sitting up and almost crawling. He is up on all fours and cam crawl backwards. He rolls all over the place. He is still just the happiest little guy, the best part is that he is a total momma's boy. It is very sweet. He is also very cuddly and I love that. His little giggle melts my heart. Who knew that kind of love was even possible!!! He loves the bath. He thinks he's a fish! He kicks and splashes and talks up a storm. Giving him a bath went from chore to fun activity!! At his 6-month checkup he was in the 8th percentile for weight and 78th for height. His pediatrician said he was the length of the average 9-month old lol. Tall and skinny, that's my boy. He definitely doesn't take after his mother in that regard.

A week or so ago we got some very sad news that BJ's cousin passed away in a tragic hiking accident on Mount McGuinnes in Alaska. He hiked to the top, was so excited he called his mom to tell her that he had made it. Thirty minutes later his mom got another call from one of his friends saying that Cameron went after a backpack that fell and they hadn't seen or heard from him since. Search and rescue were called in and his body was found hours later. He fell over 500 feet down an avalanche chute. He was only 16. Breaks my heart. After I heard the news, all I could do was go downstairs and hold my baby boy. Parents shouldn't have to bury their children. That is an experience I hope to never have for myself. I don't think I'm strong enough for it.

Work has been hell for BJ all year. It seems to finally be slowing down some, but from January to May he was working 80-100 hours a week preparing to move the company to their new location. He created an entire network infrastructure from scratch and everything was fully operational the day they moved in. Unfortunately few understand just how much goes in to making a network work flawlessly, IT is one of those magic fields where people just think you go poof and everything works. If only that were the case. It took him away from his family for months, he missed a lot of time with his new son, but he knew the entire company was counting on him to make this work and as usual he gave it his all and came through for them. I was and am very proud of him. He sacrificed a lot and put himself through hell to ensure that he did the best job he could for his company. I am lucky to have such a wonderful partner and provider for our family.

Last night I spent the night at LDS hospital in the sleep center. The doctor thinks I have sleep apnea and so I had to do a sleep study to confirm it. They do their best in those places to make you as comfortable as possible, but having electrical probes and wires stuck all over your body makes it rather impossible to sleep. I felt like I didn't sleep at all. The nurse told me that I slept more than I thought I did though lol. I am hoping that this will help me to have more energy and be able to wake more rested everyday. I hate being tired all the time and when I'm pregnant I can't use my caffeine crutch like I normally do lol. I will let you know how it works out!

Anyway, this is only a small bit of what is going on in our world these days. I hope everyone can forgive us for being bad friends and family members. We are doing our best, but we have finally decided that we need to focus on our home and family for a little while so we can get things under control. Once things slow down a bit it will be easier to make it up to everyone.

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This morning I gave Jayden a bottle with rice in it. I only gave him 1tbsp with 2oz of formula. I thought it would fill him up longer. Sleeping through the night is not a problem, the little one sleeps 10-11 hours a night. It is awesome LOL. So far it hasn't filled him up longer. He ended up drinking 5oz this morning when he woke up, with the rice added, and two hours later he was hungry again. He us a difficult eater sometimes. He eats a little bit at a time sometimes and others he pigs out and drinks a 6oz bottle. It makes judging the size of a bottle a bit difficult LOL.

After reading Jami's comment on my last post I am going to try actually feeding it to him with a spoon to see how he does. I may seem a bit anxious to jump the gun in reducing the dependency on formula, and honestly I am!! A month or two ago I had to switch from the similac soy formula, which I can buy in bulk

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Well we did it. We went shopping for the first time by ourselves. Overall it was a great experience. Jayden was such a good kid. He was awake the whole time nut didn't fuss at all until the very end, but all I had to do was take him out of his car seat and hold him and he was happy again. I need a food sling to wear in those situations. I have a couple already, but they won't really work well until he grows a little bit bigger. The Eddie Bauer one I bought a few days ago is great it is just not quite tight enough. I don't feel like he is secure enough in the sling and that freaks me out a titch.

While we were out I picked up some rice and oatmeal to add to his bottle. I think it is time to add a little and see how he does. He is nearly 4-months now. That is usually the time when they say you can start giving the little one rice in the bottle. I hope he does well with it. With as much as he is eating now, we are going through formula so quick, and his formula isn't cheap!

I'll let you know how my little experiment goes :)

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For the first time since my son was born, I am going to to shopping today alone with him. I generally put it off until my husband can to with me or at least I have someone to watch Jayden for a little bit. However, this fear of shopping alone with him has caused me to run out of a the necessities at home to be able to make dinner LOL. So today I am going to try to conquer my fear and take him out in the open all alone. I just hope that he behaves because that is where my fears stem. He is a great baby and I'm sure that he will be fine. I'll let you know if my fears are conquered after today.

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For my birthday I also got an iPhone :) now I can blog from my phone!!

It has been a while since I have been able to post and so much has happened!! Jayden is getting so big. He is starting to laugh and he smiles all the time. He is just adorable and so much fun! We bought one of those overhead play gyms and he loves it. His favorite toys are the ones with the big eyes. It is so amazing to see him grow and develop. I can't wait for all of the changes to come. Motherhood is absolutely incredible.

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Jayden on his 3-month birthday! Such a little stud!!



My happy family!

We had a small blessing for Jayden on my birthday in Logan. We only had immediate family present, but these pictures were taken that day. It was a really wonderful day!

I am so lucky and blessed to have such a wonderful husband! Yesterday he surprised me with a laptop for my birthday :) I am so excited!!! I have wanted one for so long and this is just perfect! He is just such a wonderful man and amazing father. I just love him and I wanted to share that! LOL

I took some smiling pictures today! I also took video of him rolling over. He has done this a few times now, as long as he starts out in the right position he can get enough leverage to make himself roll over. He is getting so big so fast!





He took a 4-hour nap today, after which he was just happy and smiling, we played for about two hours. It was so much fun! I imagine that he is going to be laughing soon. He has recently discovered his tongue, it is the cutest thing! He sticks it out all the time, moves it all around... he was doing it in the video above. It really only started a couple of days ago. Just another sign that he's growing up. He tries to talk to me all day. Just the sweetest little man. I am so blessed to have such a happy baby. BJ and I have always said we want 4 kids, but today I thought (only for a moment) that maybe I'd just stick with one because I'm so afraid that my next baby will be a screamer! Jayden just has a sweet temperament and I love it. I have been teasing that God made Jayden so sweet so I'd have more children! However, I'm totally opposed to only having one child so I know that BJ and I will end up with at least two.

Anyway, since he is smiling so much now I think it is finally time for some professional photos. My step-brother-in-law's sister Jami (good lord that is complicated lol) did an incredible photo shoot of her daughter Anna right after she was born and I would have loved to have been able to do something like that, but I think the kind of black and white, naked baby pictures she had done are better with girls than boys. The pics Jami had taken of Anna were right out of an Anne Geddes book! When we have Aubrey (yes we have our girls name picked out already! We had both our first son and daughter's names picked out before we even got engaged!) I think I will do something like that for her. Jayden is just going to have to settle for a trip to JC Penney's or what mom can do from home lol.

On Friday I had another doctor's appointment, this time with an allergist, during which my fabulous mother-in-law agreed to watch my baby! So I took Jayden to her around 1pm so I could make it to my appointment, which went well. I have "chronic idiopathic urticaria" a fancy way of saying "you chronically get hives all over and we have no idea why." Because of this, he wouldn't do a scratch test on me so we can do immuno-therapy (allergy shots). I'm getting some blood work done to rule out a few things as the cause of the hives, and I am just supposed to keep doing what I've been doing to keep the hives under control. Lots of fun :) Actually, its not a problem. I just have to remember to take a whole bunch of allergy meds on a daily basis and carry around an epi-pen. The doctor thought that the hormonal changes during my pregnancy have just increased my allergies and that is the most likely cause of the chronic hives. Good old pregnancy, changes everything!

Cassy, my mother-in-law, invited us over for dinner Friday night since she was watching Jayden that afternoon anyway. It was a fabulous time. We got a bunch of cute pictures.



It is so amazing to me how much he grows and changes on a daily basis! He was almost 11lbs and 23-1/2 inches long! That is 3 inches since birth! He's just long and skinny! We finally have his sleeping through the night in his pack and play. We've even started working on a regular nap-time schedule! I've been putting him in his pack and play and even if he isn't tired I just bundle him up and leave him in there until he falls asleep.

He is just so much fun right now. He is such a happy, playful, observant little man. He just melts my heart every day.

I have been slacking on the blogging front. I apologize. There has been so much going on. Jayden is already two months old and just as cute as can be! He is such an incredible little baby. He generally only cries when he needs something, most of the time he's just happy! He loves to look at lights and our ceiling fans. He just stares off at the ceiling all the time. He loves the rocker/glider my mom gave us for Christmas. It is in the bay window in our bedroom and we just rock and he stares out the window. I'm amazed at how alert and observant he is. He smiles all the time now, his facial expressions just crack me up! I should post pictures, and I will, just not right now! (I'm only up and typing this because I am once again covered in hives and I am getting allergy tests on Friday so I can't take anything to get rid of the hives... my entire body is on fire and I can do nothing about it! So I'm blogging to take my mind off the pain! haha)

BJ and I had been bad and were letting Jayden sleep in bed with us... I have to say though, I thought it was fabulous. Anyway, we have finally got him to a point where he will sleep on his own in his pack and play which is at the foot of our bed. We just have to swaddle him up tight and he sleeps for hours in there. He's pretty much sleeping through the night. We are starting to work on a schedule for him so that he has consistent nap times. We'll see how that goes! He gets his shots on Thursday, so I will probably cave and just hold him through his naps and through the night until next week! I'm kind of a pushover! All in all though, Jayden is a fabulous baby and I still totally love motherhood!

About two weeks ago I had a pretty scary experience. I got bronchitis and at my 6-week postpartum checkup I got an antibiotic for it. The next day, Jan 14, I had a coughing fit - which is normal for bronchitis, but it wouldn't stop. All that coughing caused a broncospasm and my airways started to constrict. I couldn't breathe at all. At 9:40p.m. BJ, Jayden, and myself jumped in the car and BJ rushed me to the nearest IHC Instacare. The entire car ride I thought I was going to die, I could not get oxygen, it was so scary. When we got to the clinic, he stopped at the door, I jumped out and made my way inside. It was so hard to walk and get inside... I got to the desk and I managed to say "help." The women yelled for a nurse to get out there right away, they said I was cyanotic or blue, the nurse started to help me into the back when I started to pass out from lack of oxygen. The nurse and receptionists caught me and put me on the bed. Luckily the oxygen mask started to help a little so they didn't have to intubate (put a tube down my throat to breathe for me). So immediately the nurse called the ambulance for me, as I had to be taken to the hospital. BJ was there, Jayden was being an angel and sleeping peacefully in his car seat. BJ called his parents to meet us at the IMC hospital. The ambulance showed up and rushed me to the hospital, flashing lights and all! We passed BJ on the way, he said it was the first time in his life he'd been passed by an ambulance and known who was in it.

When we got there, the E.R. doctor admitted me. So after only 6-weeks, I had to spend the night away from my son... it was torture. I spent the night in the hospital. On the 15th, they told me I could go home (around 6pm). We tried to find out why this was happening, asked if they thought I should get some oxygen to go home with just in case, they said no... the doctor said he was "confident" that we had it under control and I'd be fine, I just needed to followup with a pulmonologist and my primary care physician.

So home we went, scared to death that I would once again stop breathing. I did pretty good that night. I had my breathing treatments at home, I was on prednisone (steroid), I was just hoping I'd be fine and that I could meet with doctors and they would figure out what triggered this level of attack so we could prevent it from happening again. I mean, I went from breathing fine with a bit of a wheeze to an oxygen sat level of 65 (normal is 98-99) within 30 minutes! I went from normal to BLUE in 30 minutes! Anyway, the 16th gets here, my mom is down here to help me around the house and help with Jayden - my mother-in-law is also here helping, BJ was working from home just in case something happened. The moms were helping me take down my Christmas tree and decor when once again it started happening again! I tried to control it from home, I did 2 breathing treatments and I just couldn't breathe. My mom rushed BJ and myself to that same instacare. Cassy stayed at my house with Jayden. I got to the instacare and one of the women who was there from Wednesday night took one look at me, said "Oh no, again??" rushed me to the back and put me on oxygen. This time my O2 levels were only down to 85, we didn't wait as long the second time around. I was so memorable though that the receptionist didn't even have to ask my first name, just what my last name was again! I must have made quite the impression! The doctor gave me some IV steroids and more prednisone, (for you medical saavy folks, I was given 250mg of Solumedrol and 100mg of Prednisone!) I was pumped full of steriods to help with the inflammation. They had me on oxygen and did more breathing treatments, I was at the instacare for 3 hours when the doctor decided that I needed to go to the ER at IMC. So once again the ambulance was called and away I went. No lights this time, I was stable enough to just be transported normally. We got to the ER, they ran a whole bunch of tests, but they were extremely busy and I was pretty stable! We sat there for 8 hours and then got sent home with the same instructions and reassurances we received the day before.

My mom stayed over the weekend to help, Sunday rolls around, I started to have another episode only this time it had a new and interesting component. My tongue swelled up in my mouth! I was wheezing and doing the breathing treatments at home, and while I was using my nebulizer, I noticed that my tongue was huge! I managed to choke down some Benadryl and we just waited to see what happened. This time we were able to stick it out at home, the Benadryl finally worked, my tongue returned to normal size after a few hours, my breathing returned to somewhat normal... It was an interesting night.

Where do we go from here? I'm going to the CF (cystic fibrosis) clinic at the University of Utah today. They are going to run tests and keep an eye on me. I have what is considered CF-TR related conditions, its somewhat complicated, I'll save that explanation for another post. I have an appointment with an allergy doctor on Friday, and my primary care doc is overseeing it all. My primary care doctor is awesome and I am going to do whatever it takes to make sure we get everything under control. Suffocating is one of the scariest things I have ever experienced and I want to do everything I can to ensure that it doesn't happen again. I have a beautiful little man that I need to be healthy for! As usual, I'll keep you posted. :)